My angel without wings

I attended the funeral of one of my angels today. I'll be the first to tell you it wasn't easy (I was so afraid to go- I didn't think i could do it), but it was beautiful and I'm so glad I went. I felt the spirit so strong at the service today that I just can't keep what I felt to myself. First, I'll give you a little history of my experience with the amazing Mrs. Barnard.

Mrs. Barnard... My senior year we all got new advisory teachers. I was NOT happy about this.. I don't like change, I had the same teacher my sophomore and junior year and was comfortable with her. I had never even heard of Christy Barnard and just thought it would be another stupid advisory class where the teacher just puts a movie in and doesn't care if we're there or not. Boy was I wrong! The first time I walked into her classroom she talked to us like she cared. She was GENUINE. She was a friend, and she taught me and many others more than she'll ever know.

She was open with us in class, so we could be open with her. She told us about her family and how much she loved her kids and husband. I remember the day she told us she had cancer. She jokingly said that we shouldn't be alarmed if we notice her hair falling out and her wearing hats more often. I just wanted to cry, but her attitude made me look at it with the same faith she did. Cancer could never beat her. Never.

Weeks went by and we saw less and less hair, but never a loss of faith. I never saw her be sorry for herself. She was always worried about us and how we were doing. I remember countless visits with her at lunch, during her prep, after school. She was always there when I needed her. I struggled during that year in school. I got really sick and doctors didn't know what it was and it wasn't getting better. She was my strength through that, and pretty much any other problem I had in school. She cared so much, and it meant so much to me that she did. To talk to someone who truly understood sickness- more than I will probably ever understand -meant everything to me. I always walked out of her room feeling enlightened and so much better.

Even when she started getting worse and wasn't able to come to school very much, she still came back with the determination and desire to teach us. She had every excuse to just stay home- but she didn't. She cared too much. She never complained about anything. She just listened and taught us with her outstanding example of selflessness.

When I heard about her passing on Christmas Eve I was devastated. My brother even said "what a crappy Christmas for the Barnard's". Then a thought came to me... maybe it wasn't as crappy as we think. I can only imagine how happy Christy must have been to go home to Christ during the very season we celebrate His birth! It has given me an opportunity to more fully appreciate what Christmas is all about. My perfect example of Christlike love has left this earth to serve in ways she wasn't able to because of her body.

I know that she lives, because He lives. We can let her live on as we strive to be more like Christ/Christy. We can all do our best to be a little better, love a little more, and to be a true friend. I miss her so much and it makes me so sad to lose her. But I know that cancer didn't beat Christy, all it did was separate her body and spirit for a while. By living her legacy, we make sure cancer doesn't win. Cancer will never beat her. Never!